Rummaging through my privates

Cleaning out the old rubbbish from the rooms around the house this weekend, I suffered a very odd personal indignity. Off to the local household waste site to deposit said rubbish in the big skips and arrived there on a very quiet spell.

Four large heavy sacks were dropped into the skips, whereupon a local employee then decided to dismantle said bags with his big stick and hook. The thing is...yes, it is rubbish and is meant to be disgarded..but to have somebody rummaging through it is a little bit disturbing.
I was happy, originally, in the knowledge that it was just another anonymous bag in the sea of rubbish, but seeing one, then another employee begin to work their way through it was too much.

I knew there was nothing in there to be concerned about..but I felt violated, and I am not sure why.

Cheap tricks

I was doing my weekly shop yesterday in a major supermarket chain, heavily promoted by Mr Oliver.
Looking, as usual, for the obvious food bargains cleverly placed on all the main aisles. I tracked down my old favourite, a pack of large king prawns, seductively reduced again to £2.99. Then it dawned on me that I'd been paying this almost every week for the past two years, bar the odd week when it was back to its original price.

Surely then, they should place this particular item in its own cabinet with the sign "For one week only, double the price".

Watch out for those chicken pieces too.

Dodgy Terrain

Encountered an interesting sight this morning as I exited the Station. A large man dressed as a cow with sewn on plastic udders and face paint, collecting for charity. A worthy cause and all credit to him for his efforts. The interesting thing was his Cow suit and it’s origins. It was a good effort despite the busy pattern..this led me to think that it may have been one of those eastern European combat suits that Army surplus sell.

The point really is, It never really worked as a camouflage outfit either..I am not entirely sure what terrain it would offer much defence in. If it was a snowy terrain with maybe the odd cow dispersed within it, you may get away with it, but I felt it really had little chance of defending the owner.

Nested problems

Whilst standing on the platform this morning it struck me how difficult it is to actually build a nest in a tree.
 This also led me think that it is inevitable that all birds that are forced to do it ( by a weird quirk of nature) aren't necessarily proficient  at it.
My thinking is based on the principals that all humans aren't necessarily good at DIY.
If you were a bird that is afflicted with this problem, it must be incredibly disheartening to arrive at your chosen tree with your correctly selected stick, only to lay it down and see it fall 20 feet to the floor.

Making up for time

Sitting on the train this morning I came across another strange female phenomenon. The women that do their makeup on the train. I can only assume that these women are incredibly confident in themselves that they exit the house without makeup and show everyone on the train how little they need or good they are at putting it on.

 

I was subjected to various nudges and shuffles as the woman in question rummaged through her bag searching for that perfect colour. As well as all the inevitable pouting etc that goes with the performance.

 

I don’t have any real objections to this whole act, but I am left thinking, why?

 

 If they are that happy with their looks that they decide to join the ranks of the mindless on the platforms without makeup, then why feel the need to wear it at all?  Maybe it is simply that you can only get that beautiful by getting loads of sleep and hence have little time to actually apply it when the rest of the world do.

 

Hanging out with jeans

I have been noticing a trend over the past year in jeans that hang down around the knees and less attractively display large amounts of the owners arse. I was unfortunate to have seen a pair last week that were actually hanging below the grey panted cheeks. This led me to thinking on how they remain up. As most people that have ever been forced to rush for the telephone in mid function will know.
How is it possible to walk around with them hanging that low and not have them around your ankles.

Too close for comfort

Why do people think it is acceptable to remain seated next to someone when the rest of the carriage is empty..

The average seat on most trains is tight to say the least, especially for a 6ft-2 man..but to insist on keeping him pinned into it is frankly unacceptable.

No shoes for old men

Battling with the disappointment of having to replace a pair of shoes that decided to come apart..it dawned on me how ridiculously difficult it has become to find a pair of shoes that don't resemble something from Aladdin.

Every shoe I looked at had the same pointed, curled up toe..which for most younger men probably does enough to look stylish..but for someone in their forties..looks desperate..even Marks and Spencer, the last bastion of old age had little choice other than the Aladdin look.

I have no real objection to looking ridiculous..but I think there comes a time when you have to give it up for a more sensible long lasting shoe.

Another rainy day

A miserable journey to work this morning...having lost my umbrella the previous week..I was left with little choice but to take the car.
Where is all this rain coming from..it seems impossible to believe that somewhere on this planet there is the chance for the sun to do its work to get the water back up there..I can only think that todays rain that fell on my head came from an aussies puddle.