Thursday, 25 March 2010

A moving experience

My torrid journey to purchase a house draws nearer to close as the parasitic solicitors try to extract the last remnants of cash from this whole affair. I have somehow managed to pick up 2 new insurance policies on route, one to cover a building certificate on an internal wall that the previous owners, previous owner failed to get and the other for a church roof.
The church roof in question, somewhere out there in the country, is my responsibility thanks to some old Lord of the Manor off-loading his responsibilities to his overtaxed peasants.
So, When the time comes, I'll be ready...the peasants will have a roof above their heads for them sing their little hearts out.

Friday, 19 March 2010

Bag man

Bag man

I felt for the unhappy plight of a poor old chap this morning as I passed him on the way to the station.
He'd obviously been to Tescos and overloaded his carrier bag which had duly split apart. It wasn't just a side split, no, this puppy had disintegrated.
The pavement was covered with his items and sadly he seemed to have nowhere to put them. Everytime he picked a number up the others dropped to the floor. I really don't know what you can do in that situation, short of leaving the lot on the floor and heading home to get a bag, in the vain hope that when you return they will still be there.
Why, didn't I help him? Because I was heading to the station...sadly.

Monday, 15 March 2010

A holey mess

Came across a weird hole in my garden lawn this weekend. I suspect it originates from a cheeky little dog that has recently moved in next door.

It looks like small paws have inflicted the damage, especially as recently, the midget hound in question, found it necessary to come into my garden and bark at me through the patio doors. The bark was more of a "Yip" than a "woof" but equally irritating. It's owner has been reassuring me that it found a hole in the fence and she will block it..still it arrives.

I may have to lay down preventive I am not sure there are many people out there campaiging for dog land mine victims.

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Stranger things can happen

Stranger things can happen

Came across one of lifes odd timing issues yesteday.
The day before, whilst endlessly waiting for a train, I got chatting with another frustrated commuter about  the current failings of the rail network.
As you know, it is forbiden to talk idly with strangers during commuter time, this passed without the authorities knowing.
So, yesterday morning, I exited the house and proceeded along my road where to my horror, I saw the very same commuter heading across my path, the timing couldn't have been worse, we were on collision course..what would I say, I can't just say hello and walk alongside him, I couldn't just say hello and speed off.
So, I dropped my engines to half speed and lagged behind, but, it got drastically worse, the main road we cross lay ahead and he stopped to cross, I arrived at the scene and for some bizarre reason said "good luck". I had to then continue, at a now accelerated speed, without crossing, on a longer route to the station,
I do hope the trains are on time in the future.

Wednesday, 10 March 2010

Brown collar workers

Brown collar workers

Saw another of my pet hates this morning, the dreaded brown collared crombie type thingy coat.
You know the one, tight fitting long straight, beige/camel coat with an ugly brown collar.
When and who invented this monstrocity is anyones guess. I also encountered an attached demi human a few weeks back that decided to go shoulder to shoulder on the platform as we jostled our way off it. His aggressively ugly face only matched by his equally ugly coat. Maybe that is why I feel a further need to attack this fashion statement.
If I discover who was responsible for this styling, I'll post it.

Friday, 5 March 2010

Flying responsibilities

Flying responsibilities

Yesterday I boarded another flight to rain soaked Spain, leaving the sunshine of the UK behind me.

In my usual effort in trying to gain some legroom on board the plane I booked seat 2B. 2B is one of those rare seats on a plane where you pay around 15 pounds extra for another 6 inches..not a bad deal in the current economic climate, but the seat you really want is the holy exit aisle. The seat where you not only get loads more legroom, but become a member of the CREW for a day.

Supposedly at any time during the flight these chosen new recruits can be called upon to fling open the door the midst of burning jet fuel licking your ankles, be required to stand and guide fellow passengers to safety.

Now, I am sure that if any ailing passenger aside me at the door requires my assistance I would be there for them, but I cannot guarantee my actions amidst jet fuel and mayhem. As a member of the crew, that is unacceptable behaviour and one that has left me to evaluate my future with the airline.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Boogie wonderland

It seems that london is burning again, not since the great fire of london has london suffered as much disruption. It seems an old copy of the evening standard has caught fire and forced the closure of 3 major stations.

So here I stand on a platform waiting for something to happen.

It seems the natural elements are conspiring against the rail networks, we have had ice, now fire. I'll settle for wind over earth next. I am not keen on the idea of an earth attack.

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Unsociable Notworking

Unsociable Notworking

Yesteday, I was struck by the utter pointless activity that is Facebook.

Maybe I realised I am either too old for it or just too unsociable to be a social networker.
As I waded through another raft of utterly pointless quotes on how well someones non existant pig or fish was doing, through more information than I needed on people I am not sure I finally dawned on me that the whole Facebook scene is something that should be left to my sons age group.

No doubt this post will drop my already threadbare number of friends down to single digits..but that's real life.